Voldy's Gone Moldy
by YoursG
Summary: Harriet Potter hated her name. It sounded too much like harlot for her comfort. So, what happens when Voldemort dares to say the banned name in her presence? Add a little natural phenomenon in the female body to it and that's it... Voldy's toast! fem!Harry


Author's Note : First of all, Harry Potter does not belong to me. And this might be somewhat stupid! And it's fem!Harry. And yeah, ending is quite lame. So...

**Voldy's Gone Moldy**

Harry Potter was The Girl Who Lived. She had been destined to destroy the most evil wizard of all times, Lord Voldemort. She knew that the fate of Wizarding Britain rested on her shoulders. It was her decision whether to fight Voldemort or just hide form him, when all of future of the Wizarding Britain hung on precipice, awaiting her decision. And brave and selfless as she was she had decided to fight Voldemort. Knowing that she might die in the pursuit, what with his Horcruxes and Death Eaters and vast skill in magic.

And that was why she was here, in the Great Hall, fighting Voldemort. Well, she _had_ hunted and destroyed all the Horcruxes with help of Ron and Hermione. So, now Voldemort's advantage was partially lessened. But he still had substantial advantage with his prodigious skill.

She really wasn't feeling upto the task. She had a wicked stomach ache. Her back and legs were killing her. Also, as it went with these things, she was bleeding and was bloody tired. You know, destroying Horcruxes, almost dying several times in the day (or night), then _actually_ dying and going back to being alive could be pretty exhausting. And as if it wasn't enough, she had to deal with PMS on top of all that. She felt terrible. One minute, a murderous rage descended upon her, making her want to strangle Death Eaters and Voldy with her bare hands and the next, she would feel like creeping into her dormitory bed and bawling like a baby. Damn the mood swings during PMS! Merlin, she wished gruesome and terrible death upon Voldy for making her fight a battle during the bloody PMS. But she decided to fight Voldy, because you know, fate of Britain and stuff like that!

She declared to all the onlookers that she did not want any help lest someone brave _or foolish_ might try to intervene the ultimate face-off between Voldy and her, which she had known would happen eventually. She had known it since years.

She goaded Voldemort, "Don't learn from your mistakes, do you, Riddle?" Voldy's eyes narrowed and a rage settled on his face. He replied apoplectically, "You dare.." He was cut off by Harry, "Of course, Tom Riddle, I always dare. And there are no more Horcruxes. It's just you and me, as it was supposed to be. And one of us is going to leave this fight alive." Voldy's eyes glinted in what seemed amusement, though it only made him look more scry. And for the first time in her life, Harry Potter wasn't afraid while facing him.

Voldy smiled a humourless and terrible smile that only managed to twist his face further and said, "And you think that it will be you don't you?" Well, everyone thought that Voldy's lipless smile was really cruel and made him look inhuman, while Harry agreed with them on the inhuman part, she always thought he looked rather like a barmy old codger when he smiled that stupid and so-called terrifying smile of his. So, Harry smiled her genuine smile at this and replied confidently, "Oh, I don't _think_ it will be me, I _know_ I'm the one who's going to get out of this fight alive. Because the Elder Wand that you hold in your hands… does it truly recognise you as it's master, Riddle? No, it doesn't. Because you aren't its true master, you never were. The Wand gave its allegiance to Draco Malfoy when he disarmed Dumbledore at the top of the tower and _I_ disarmed Draco weeks ago at the Malfoy Manor." Everyone was shell-shocked at the revelation. Harry continued in a soft voice, "So it all comes down to this, doesn't it? If the Wand knows that it now has a new mistress, then…. Well, then, I am the true mistress of the Elder Wand." Voldy looked doubtful and stalled for a few moments and then whispered, "Oh, you think you own this Wand, Harriet Potter?"

Harry's eyes glinted with rage. Oh, he had gone and done it, he had. How dare that snake of a monkey call her _Harriet_ Potter? Oh, he was so dead, Harry thought furiously. It was a common knowledge that Harriet Potter hated her first name. it sounded too much like 'harlot' for her comfort. And anyone who dared to utter the wretched name in her presence had to face Harry Potter's legendary temper. And currently, Voldemort seemed to be the one who was going to face it.

Meanwhile, Harry's nostrils flared in anger, but she said calmly, "Has no one ever taught you Voldy?"

"You dare?", Voldemort screamed.

Harry continued as if Voldemort hadn't spoken and this time, her each word was enunciated with the rage that she was feeling, "Never. Insult. Or. Infuriate. A. Girl. During. Her. PMS." Ron, who had often been at the receiving end of Harry's outbursts of anger during PMS said faintly, "Oh, he's a goner!"

Voldemort's eyes widened with terror and he whispered to himself, "Sweet Salazar! What have I gotten myself into?" Just then a spell hit his chest that caused him to double over with pain. And he recognised at once for what it was. The Cruciatus Curse. He had never thought that the girl would resort to Dark magic against him. But he knew that his minutes were numbered, for he had enraged a sleeping lioness. And during her PMS, too. He couldn't believe his bad luck.

Even as the Cruciatus Curse was lifted, he was hit by another Dark Curse. And as gashes appeared on his body, he knew it was the spell of Snape's invention. Sectumsempra. Yes, that one. Even as he was reeling under its effect, he felt more curses hit him. The Bat-Bogey Hex. The Stinging Jinx. The Jelly Legs Jinx. And so many that he lost count. Ha had to admit that the girl had become pretty formidable. But he still had one hope. And that was in his go-to motto : 'When in doubt, shout Avada Kedavra.' He took one look at Harry Potter's face, so full of rage and decided that he would better do it soon. And both Harry and Voldy shouted at the same time.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"  
"EXPELLIARMUS!"

And the Elder Wand flew out of Voldemort's hand, even as the Killing Curse cast by him rebounded and hit him. Harry Potter smiled at this. There was relief in her face. As was in everyone else'. Everyone was bombarding her with their gratitude. Everyone wanted to be near her. But she just wanted to be with her two best friends. So, she asked Luna to create a diversion as she escaped the crowd.

She had an inkling as to where she would find Ron and Hemione. And her hunch proved to be correct as she saw them sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room. By the fireplace. Harry smiled and approached them. As soon as she was near, Ron and Hermione's arms wet around her in a hug. Tears, of relief and sadness, were pouring down the cheeks of all the three friends.

They went back to their couch by the fireplace and Harry plopped down on Ron's lap and sighed with contentment as his arms went around her. Hermione looked at them with a tender smile on her face even as Neville approached her and pecked her lips.

Harry whispered in Ron's ear, "Well, Ron. I think I deserve a good snog and some nice pampering after such a long day. I _was_ almost killed you know." Ron grinned at her and snogged the hell out of her, while Neville, Dean, Seamus and Ginny (who had also reached the Common Room till now,) snickered. Ginny remarked with a smirk on her face, "That filthy hypocrite!" Hermione shook her head and let them be.

By night, Harry knew that everything was going to return to normal, if all this sniggering was a proof enough. And she knew that even if it took some time for the things to be completely normal, they eventually would be. With these thoughts in her mind, Harry went to sleep in Ron's arms. Voldy was defeated and dead. For good. And all was going to be well…..


End file.
